Holding On

I am a person who tends to hold on to people and things. I do not like to say goodbye. I do not like to admit that I will not see someone or do something again for the rest of my life. I do not like final chapters.

So it is no surprise as I watch my little Ryker grow and reach each milestone, I feel a bit somber realizing that I will never again watch one of my own babies learn to roll over, sit up, say Da Da, or eat solids for the first time. I will never again hold a newborn baby in my arms, that I have carried for 9 months, holding its little hand in my finger and knowing that I am that little babies guardian, mommy, and friend. Soon I will no longer see those baby smiles that are so stinken cute that they just melt my heart. Soon those little finger prints that I wipe off of my walls will no longer be there.

For these reasons, I find myself in no rush to have my baby grow up this time. I remember with Sage, I was so focused on making sure she was ahead of the curve and helping her reach her milestones early. With Ryker I don't push him to do anything. I don't care if it takes him forever to reach his milestones. I just want him to be my baby for as long as he is willing to be my baby. And in my eyes he always will be my baby.

In closing, I wanted to post a few "firsts" pictures of my kids. Thank you my children for the opportunity  to be there during these steps in your life. I love you all!

SAGE

First time eating.

First time sitting.

First Halloween.

First toothbrush.

ASHTON

First Birthday.

First visit to Grandpa's and Grandma's museum.

First Halloween.

First time being held by Sage.

First time sitting.

JACE

First time eating using a spoon on his own.

First smile on camera.

First time eating solids.

First time camping and hiking.

RYKER

First time shooting with Dad.

First time being held by his brothers.

First time sitting.

First time hiking.