Missing Child

Today as I was getting ready to go the the library to return some books, Ashton headed outside to wait. 5-7 minutes later I went out to load Jace in the car followed closely by Sage. I called for Ashton... no response. That darn kid... here I was trying to get to the library before it closed and he decides to run off. I was a bit angry because he knew better. I went over to the neighbors where he usually is, but he was not there. I went to other places that he has been know to play at... no luck. I started to get a bit worried. I looked inside in all his hiding places. No Ashton. Where was he??? I busied myself with another project and figured he would come home soon. Another 20 minutes passed... Where was my little boy???? I went out to search for him again. No luck. At this point he has been missing for 1 hour. I started to panic. Where was my phone. I had to call Curtis to let him know Ashton was missing. I could not even find my phone! The fear and frustration started to build inside of me. I found my phone. "Curtis, Ashton has been missing for an hour! Im so worried. Ok I will check again using the car this time.". I drove down the street... what was that? A see red hair. Its Ashton wandering the neighborhood with a little girl who just turned 4. He has got crackers and looks happy. However I'm not happy. I bark at him to get into the car. I sternly tell him that I have been looking for him for over an hour and that he knew better! I take the crackers away. He starts to cry. We arrive home. I escort him to his room. Do I spank him and yell at him? Absolutely. He scared me to death! Then what? I break down and cry. He sits there and just watches me in silence with a puzzled look on his face as if to say, "why is mom crying? I'm the one that got spanked?". Why am I crying? I love my children. I would absolutely die inside if I lost a child. All my time and energy is pretty much consumed with my three kids. They may be messy, loud, and at times frustrating, but they are my kids. I have given up my hobbies, time, work, and energy for them. Why? Because I love them. I love them like a mother should.