A Need to Love

"I love you because of how you love me" are the words that I hear from my husband when ever I ask him why he loves me.  I think the need for a person to be loved is typical. Everyone should have the God given right to be loved. I know that I enjoy being truly loved. But the more I thought about it, I realized that being loved is important to me, but actively loving someone and having that person let me love them openly and passionately is even more important. Within me I have this intense drive to love someone, and have that love accepted and not rejected.

So what does it mean to me to actively love someone? Let me explain.

Thoughts
Someone I truly love will be more than a passing thought. When I actively love someone I think of them almost at every opportunity I get. Basically, when my mind is able to relax it will always land on the people that I love. My subconsciousness will also have me dream often of those I love. Some might call it a bit obsessed but I think that it is natural. Think about it. When you first meet and start to date someone you are always thinking of them. Why does that have to stop once your relationship matures? I don't think it should. And thinking of the person that I love gives me a lot of joy and makes me smile.

Service
I love to serve and do things for those I love. My husband is practically spoiled. You would think I would get tired of getting him a glass of water with ice every night, but I don't. I know every night that he thinks, "She loves me." When I mow the lawn every 5 days so that he does not have to deal with allergies, I know that he appreciates it. And when he is sick, I baby him as I would one of my children.  That's not all I do but I will not go into details for fear that people will know how spoiled he really is:). Lets just say this wife would do about anything for Curtis because he lets me love him without holding me back.

Verbal
 I love you... those words are not rare coming out of my mouth. Poor Curtis gets random I love you's through out the day via phone calls, texts, and face to face conversations. Not only do I have a great need to express my love through those simple words, but i also have a great need to tell those I love how great I think they are. I don't do it for them, I do it for me because bottling up  my love and thoughts for someone takes much more energy than simply expressing them.

Physical
I am a very physical person. I blame it on my Dad who was always so kissy and touchy with my mom. And like verbally expressing love, I am driven to express it by touch. I get a lot out of a sweet kiss, a gentle squeeze, and simple hand hold. Physically loving someone weather by a simple hug or something much more lets me feel close to them. And I believe that most people need to feel close to someone in order to feel whole themselves.

Thoughts, Service, Verbal love, and Physical love are all the ways that I like to actively love someone. If I have ever loved someone in the past and feel like I can't do all those things, I feel as though I am suffocating. If I feel like all those things are not being received positively It saddens me. When I am actively loving someone I feel amazing. It is one of the things that I was born to do and I am very good at it when allowed and able to express myself fully.